HEIDI SHANER

Did you know that your energy matters more than anything else? Do you know how powerful energy is? Have you heard of people getting sick based on their fears alone? Have you heard of people healing based on their faith alone?

Why do we let other people's energy toxify our own? First of all, we might not recognize that other people are merely projecting their fears onto us and that we're internalizing it. We might recognize it, but we're still not able to NOT take it personally. I have a true solution for you.

When your energy gets polluted, you know the feeling. Something is said or done, you make an association, your nervous system gets triggered, and you're off to the races or down the rabbit hole or off the rails, etc. Now what?

Usually, we scramble at this point. We want back on the rails and out of the rabbit hole but we physiologically cannot get ourselves "clean" again or solid or grounded. So we try to wish the bad feeling away. We apply logic. We talk to ourselves. We...

If you're feeling on top of the world and able to identify triggers and projection and not internalize other people's shit, don't read this. If you sometimes feel like you're standing on the edge of an abyss and you're not sure if you're being rational or crazy and your demons and fear are calling to you and you're about to fall into the pit, read this.

Believe me, I try my best to learn as I go, to correct my mistakes, to evolve, to be self aware, to be courageous with my own shit, but try as hard as I can, I find myself in the same patterns. Clearly, the universe is teaching me a lesson. If only it were a little clearer. I'll deal with it, I'll do the work if I just knew what it was that needed getting done.

So let me give you some specifics of my latest teetering on the edge of the abyss. I recognize when someone I'm with gets triggered. By getting triggered, I mean when someone reacts to me in a way that is extreme relative to the reality of the situation. For example, let's say...

I could've easily titled this blog togetherness and space, anxiety and avoidance, close and far, fire and ice, certainty and variety, light and dark, yin and yang, safety and adventure...you get the idea. We want both ends of the spectrum deeply and yet somehow in relationships, we have to reconcile this paradox. We have to hold both in balance.

And who really knows how to manage that balance? I believe that this imbalance is the cause of all the heartbreak. Let's start with when we were growing up. We wanted a safe, predictable, nurturing home life. We needed unconditional love and acceptance. We also wanted to explore, be independent, and feel free. Parents are the first ones who have the deep responsibility to find this balance for their children.

You already know what happens when we're neglected or abused emotionally or physically at home. We learn to link pain with intimacy. We learn that we can't trust people who "love" us. We learn that we have to protect ourselves and not...