This is the title of my book y'all. It has been begging for years to come out and I can't hold it in any longer. Read my intro and then join my waitlist.

INTRODUCTION
This book is for you if you’re stuck in, getting out of, or free from an unhealthy relationship. Or if you are ready to do what it takes to have a healthy relationship. I wish someone had sat me down and told me all of these truths when I was stuck and going through separation.

For the sake of simplicity, but not to oversimplify or limit the dynamics of relationships of this type, I will use the structure of the woman being the empath and the man being the narcissist. Of course, it can be reversed or same sex. So if this dynamic applies to you, please know that it is NOT limited to the gender I’m presenting.

Also, you might think that you need to know for sure if you’re with a narcissist. That word gets tossed around a lot and the truth is, it really doesn’t matter. If you feel anxious most of...

"You are not the victim. You need to change the victim vs. perpetrator dynamic or you'll continue to be disempowered."

This is what my therapist told me after I told her all the terrible things my ex husband did to me. What the actual f*uck?? Was it not me who was locked in the bathroom with my husband at the time banging on the door and cussing me? Was it not me who got her fingers jammed when he wrangled my phone out of them and smashed the phone in the driveway? Was it not me who was threatened to be charged with abandonment and foreclosed on if I left? Was it not me who was dependent on him to feed, clothe, and shelter my children?

How was I NOT the victim? Over the years, I've had many clients say the same thing to me. I get it. Women get together and vent about how their men mistreat them. They bond in their commiseration. They give each other advice. They don't follow it. Rinse, lather, repeat.....

So what gives? What I've come to think over the years is this: sometimes, you...

Don't you think that if we could master the cat and mouse game, we'd master relationships? Aren't relationships simply combinations of time together and time apart? Do you know ANYONE who doesn't have issues regarding being intimate and being alone, navigating the whole push/pull dynamic. Yeh, me neither....

What if you could get super close to someone and experience complete trust, unconditional love, and a feeling of security and safety AND not take their boundaries personally and be able to communicate directly and openly about your needs, and encourage the ones you love to take care of themselves too and realize their goals? What an idea!

That, my friends, is called "secure attachment". I don't know anyone who has all of that. Some of it, yes, but not all. Want to know why? We're going to have to dive deep to answer that. 

You've heard of attachment patterns but what you might not realize is that these patterns are established very early on so they run deep and might...