Cat and Mouse

Don't you think that if we could master the cat and mouse game, we'd master relationships? Aren't relationships simply combinations of time together and time apart? Do you know ANYONE who doesn't have issues regarding being intimate and being alone, navigating the whole push/pull dynamic. Yeh, me neither....

What if you could get super close to someone and experience complete trust, unconditional love, and a feeling of security and safety AND not take their boundaries personally and be able to communicate directly and openly about your needs, and encourage the ones you love to take care of themselves too and realize their goals? What an idea!

That, my friends, is called "secure attachment". I don't know anyone who has all of that. Some of it, yes, but not all. Want to know why? We're going to have to dive deep to answer that. 

You've heard of attachment patterns but what you might not realize is that these patterns are established very early on so they run deep and might...

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Bless and Release

Did you know that your energy matters more than anything else? Do you know how powerful energy is? Have you heard of people getting sick based on their fears alone? Have you heard of people healing based on their faith alone?

Why do we let other people's energy toxify our own? First of all, we might not recognize that other people are merely projecting their fears onto us and that we're internalizing it. We might recognize it, but we're still not able to NOT take it personally. I have a true solution for you.

When your energy gets polluted, you know the feeling. Something is said or done, you make an association, your nervous system gets triggered, and you're off to the races or down the rabbit hole or off the rails, etc. Now what?

Usually, we scramble at this point. We want back on the rails and out of the rabbit hole but we physiologically cannot get ourselves "clean" again or solid or grounded. So we try to wish the bad feeling away. We apply logic. We talk to ourselves. We...

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The Abyss

If you're feeling on top of the world and able to identify triggers and projection and not internalize other people's shit, don't read this. If you sometimes feel like you're standing on the edge of an abyss and you're not sure if you're being rational or crazy and your demons and fear are calling to you and you're about to fall into the pit, read this.

Believe me, I try my best to learn as I go, to correct my mistakes, to evolve, to be self aware, to be courageous with my own shit, but try as hard as I can, I find myself in the same patterns. Clearly, the universe is teaching me a lesson. If only it were a little clearer. I'll deal with it, I'll do the work if I just knew what it was that needed getting done.

So let me give you some specifics of my latest teetering on the edge of the abyss. I recognize when someone I'm with gets triggered. By getting triggered, I mean when someone reacts to me in a way that is extreme relative to the reality of the situation. For example, let's say...

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The Object of my Obsession

addiction fear Oct 04, 2018

Have you ever been obsessed with something that you knew was no good for you? It consumed most of your thoughts. You wanted it from the deepest parts of yourself. You couldn't rationalize your desire or talk yourself out of it. You felt weak because you didn't have control over your desires. You beat yourself up for not being stronger. Yeah, me either.

Let's dig deep down underneath this to unlock the grip. You know the grip right? That visceral feeling of longing, like a moth to a flame, so compelling and unhealthy and so satisfying. This sounds a lot like addiction. When your obsession is an unhealthy vehicle for attaining what you want, it is exactly the same as an addiction. So how do we crack the code, break the cycle, free ourselves from the grip?

There are many ways to do this but I'll give you a simple 3 step resource.

1. First of all, we need to recognize the internal conflict. The body gives you cues. Trapped energy shows up in the body. Do you have a constricted feeling...

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Let's Play the What If Game

anxiety fear guilt shame Aug 28, 2018

Oh you know the what if game. That's the one where we torture ourselves with endless questions like: What if it'll never get better? What if I did the wrong thing? What if I'm wasting my time? What if I never get out of here? What if this is how it is? What if he/she never changes? What if I'm being played? What if I run out of time? 

The what if game is usually accompanied by a state of panic, overwhelm, maybe shame, guilt. You might feel tension in your neck or nausea in your gut. You believe that if you think of everything, you should be able to cover your ass no matter what bad thing happens. Just when you think you've got worst case scenarios covered, you think of another one. You try to think of solutions but none are coming. It's almost as if you're in a haunted house where each floorboard you uncover leads to another one. 

Why do we play this game for hours? We believe that if we think of everything, we can protect ourselves from getting blindsided, caught unaware,...

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