Have you ever had a moment of clarity/an epiphany/a realization that is immediately replaced by pure gripping fear? What the hell is going on here? Don't we crave clarity? Not so much. I believe we get closer to accepting our truth layer by layer. We dip just a big toe at first until we're ready to plunge our whole bodies.
What is the very visceral fear all about? It's super deep; I know that much. That's why denial is such a compelling coping mechanism. Lying to ourselves and others about the truth is so much easier than holding the truth. Holding the truth would mean going to the depths of our soul and extracting the pain from the root. No thanks.
I had a moment recently where I felt extreme relief for speaking my truth following by a moment of gripping fear. In trying to understand why I was having an internal battle, I discovered that it takes courage to get to the root of my fear. I would rather lie to myself than risk upsetting the apple cart/the status quo.
What if you realized that you were living out of alignment with what you truly wanted? What if you want to be with someone who has a sense of self/esteem that is grounded and strong? Someone who isn't looking for validation from external sources and projecting their fears/insecurities onto you?
What if that someone is you? Water rises to its level. If you're judging someone else to not measure up to your standards, don't you think you need to ask yourself if you are?
Ouch. I know that hurts. When I have come to Jesus talks with myself, it stings a little bit. When you find yourself complaining about how someone is treating you next time, ask yourself these questions: Where in me am I just like the ones I criticize? What are my weaknesses? Where do I need to focus my work?
I get so frustrated by typical girl talk. It goes like this:
Girl A: My guy did all this crap to me.
Girl B: Don't take that shit girl. You deserve better. Move on. Next.
For real. That's how it goes. This paradigm puts us in a position of judging others as less than. We are free from criticism and we dismiss people. It's caustic.
Try something different next time. The next time you feel "wronged" and you're venting about it, do the thing. Have a little convo with yourself and see what happens.
And if you want to talk with someone who will shoot from the hip and say what no one else will say to your face, shoot me a message ;)
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