How to Break the Negative Cycle

Uncategorized Oct 31, 2017

My life is SOOOOO fantastic!! I wake up in the morning and I'm so excited because I have the whole day in front of me. I love my work and and I'm living a life of purpose and meaning.  At the end of the day, I think about how thankful I am for everything. It's incredible but it hasn't always been this way so I started to think about what changed.

I figured out what I've been doing differently so I'll tell you about it. But first, we need to understand why we tilt toward negative thoughts and negative emotions. When we focus on something whether imaginary or real, the body reacts the same way. Our focus creates the emotions which manifest in our physical bodies.

The reason why we get stuck in a negative loop is because negative thoughts literally take up more space in the filing cabinet of our brain. That's why when we get together with our friends, we talk about what's wrong. We complain and vent. We rarely get together and talk about what's going great and what we're thankful for, etc. When somebody asks you to remember your happiest memory, you have to think about it for awhile. When somebody asks you about your worst memory, you'll remember quickly. It's just how the body is wired.

Another reason why we worry and fear is because we are programmed to be on the alert for danger so we can survive. We're on the lookout for danger so we can protect ourselves. Of course, there are times when the bad guys are coming after and you need to get into that fight or flight mode for sure. It happens automatically. But we've gotten so evolved that now we have imaginary threats everywhere. We worry about bad things happening so we can prevent those things from happening and protect ourselves. But what we're really doing is just living in a fantasy world where all this bad stuff occupies our thoughts but they don't exist in reality.

So you're not crazy. It's not that you don't have great willpower. It's none of those things. It's that we're literally wired to fear and worry.

I found myself in a situation where I couldn't tell if someone was lying to me. I questioned whether this person was playing games with me. I didn't know for sure so I started imagining all these other things.  I had a knotted up feeling in my gut and then I remembered my new technique for what to do when you get caught up in a negative situation or emotional or thought pattern. 

The question you can ask yourself is : What if this is exactly the way it's supposed to go?It's just a question. It's just something to ponder. What if this is exactly the way it's supposed to go? You might not have all the answers. You might not have the understanding. It might not make any sense at all but if you believed that everything went down the way it was supposed to, not only would you have that faith, you would have such a feeling of weightlessness. You would realize that you don't have to assume the responsibility for everything.

I don't understand all of it. I don't have to control all of it but I can believe that this is exactly how it supposed to go and I can just smile and carry on my day knowing that everything is working out exactly the right way.

I hope this has been helpful for you. I know it has been a helpful technique for me. Reach out today if you found this valuable. Thank you!

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